Born Whole post #13: Chapter 7: Beyond Healing: Welcoming the Anticipated Child

What if we know that a child is on the way? Can we escort that child through conception and growth within the womb?

This chapter discusses how we can accompany, guide, welcome, and love babies into our families at any point in their existence. We can be with the baby from the time of conception, or even before, from the time that the parents first establish their intention to create a new life.

The chapter looks at current methods that have been popularized for interacting with unborn babies. It then discusses the potential of deeper welcoming.

I invite parents to do their own healing so they can better understand and support the journey of their children.


Up to this point, I have focused on retroactive healing of pre-birth trauma. Clients for this healing are usually adults, and we deal with traumas from a time that is several decades in their past.

Healing pre-birth issues is straightforward for these clients. They enter a meditative state and apply the retroactive healing process discussed in chapter 5.

However, healing can also be done for babies who are still in the womb. This is accomplished using nonphysical communication to contact and guide that baby through the healing process.

The technique of retroactive healing in the womb sets the stage for an even more wonderful possibility. Imagine that we can greet, honor and accompany new children into our human community while they are still in the womb. Imagine that they can be born already knowing that they are welcomed, loved, and valued. Imagine that we can begin this before they are conceived. Imagine that when they are born, they meet the same people who greeted them as they came into existence and were with them as they grew within their mother!

Though it may seem radical to our society, this is not a new idea. Other cultures welcome children into existence before they are born. In Women’s Wisdom from the Heart of Africa, Sobonfu Somé describes how every Dagara child is asked, while still in the womb,

“What are your unique gifts?”
“What will you be born to contribute?”
“What can your community do to assist you?”

In The Continuum Concept, Jean Liedloff writes about a people in Venezuela whose interactions with their infants and children suggest they are welcomed before they are born, perhaps before they are conceived.

The San people of Africa have an understanding of their spiritual connections with one another that suggests they comprehend this as well. There are no doubt others. I hope so; we need their example, wisdom, and guidance.


A few years ago I was present at the birth of a baby boy. As labor became more intense and birth was imminent, I stepped back from the mother’s bedside. I shifted into a deeper state of consciousness and contacted the baby. He was frightened, reminding me of my experience of that time. I acknowledged that the next short while was going to be difficult. I told him that I would stay with him, he would make it through, and he would be welcome in this world.

After the amazing moment of birth, I was invited to cut the umbilical cord. For a few seconds I pretended that I didn’t quite know how to use a pair of scissors as I worked to assist the life force that remained in the placenta into his body.

I continued to send him messages of welcome and love until the post-birth protocols were completed. While he was weighed, I stayed close by, and he locked his eyes on mine. I knew that his eyesight would be unclear for several days, yet I felt that we were seeing each other. Then, as he was taken to his mother’s breast and he turned his attention to her, I knew he was in good hands.

That baby now approaches adolescence. He is a wonderful child.

If you are more than twenty years old, it is unlikely that your parents understood the emotional significance of the pre-birth environment. This knowledge was not available. Now, we are aware of the potential of positive and loving communication between parents and their unborn child. Many websites and an ever-increasing number of books promote awareness and provide information for prospective parents.[i]

However, most of them only address physical ways of interacting with the fetus. They offer ideas about music, massage, or verbal expressions of love. But what if we could spiritually greet and go with the egg and the sperm that will become a new child? What if we could help the egg and sperm understand the magnificence of the dance of conception and prepare them for the difficult aspects of that event? What if we could accompany the embryo through gestation and birth? What if we could know from the baby what it was experiencing? What if we could help it choose which aspects of its mother’s life and beliefs it wished to retain and which it wished to transcend?

We can do all these things.

In earlier chapters, I described some painful experiences from my own prenatal life. I also described how healing transformed those experiences. My intention in telling these stories is to help you recognize the possibility and potential for healing your own pre-birth hurts. I believe that making the healing journeys that I have made will enable you to trust that you can bring forth healthy children. This is true even if your own early experiences were painful.

I have an invitation for prospective parents. If you are preparing to welcome a baby into this world, one of the greatest gifts you can offer your child is for you to be whole. Let that be your incentive to engage in your own healing.

As you revisit your time in the womb, you will gain appreciation for the intensity and potential impact of your pre-birth experiences. You will know how to welcome and guide your children because you know what they will encounter on their journey.

This is your birthright.

For Prospective Parents

Human intention is powerful. If you create the intention to communicate with your baby as a living, conscious being, you will be able to communicate with them in both directions.


I’ve been taught that when we are communicating with a spirit, the first thing we do is introduce ourselves. I suggest that you do this with your baby (“Hi, I’m your mom.”) even if it seems completely unnecessary or even foolish.

Observe the response. You may be surprised how doing a simple greeting changes the nature and the power of the interaction!

Suspend disbelief. Be open. There will be lots of people around you who don’t recognize that interactions like this are possible, and they will freely share their skepticism with you.

Give it a try. Treat it as an exercise in imagination, and pay attention. At some point you may have an experience that shakes and expands your view of what is possible.

You don’t have to be able to go into a deep meditation—you likely don’t have time for that anyway! But if you do have time, enter a meditative state and reach out to the baby. Alternatively, just have the intention to know what your baby needs. Imagine that your point of awareness is right there with the baby.

Hold in your mind the idea that the baby is capable of communicating with you. View your baby as a new, open, trusting life that needs your nurturing and protection.

Send love and reassurance, not only verbally but from your spirit, from your heart. The baby’s heart begins to beat twenty-two days after conception, weeks earlier than the brain is significantly developed. You can communicate with the baby at the level of heart well before you can talk to them!


The electromagnetic field of an adult human heart is much stronger than that of the brain, at least sixty times stronger. It can be detected several feet away by measuring instruments. This scientific fact reminds me of a poetic quote from Blaise Pascal, a 17th century French mathematician, physicist, and theologian: “The heart has its reasons which reason knows nothing of (‘que la raison ne connaît point’) . . . We know the truth not only by reason, but by the heart.” A surprising statement for a scientist—and true in ways we now comprehend better than ever as consciousness research continues to advance.

The heart quite literally has a mind of its own. It contains a sophisticated network of some 40,000 neurons known as the “heart brain.” The heart brain can sense, feel, learn, and remember, sending messages to the head brain about how the body feels and more. Its strength is emotional intelligence, and its drive is to connect. Research has shown that the heart communicates information to the brain in several major ways and acts independently of the cranial brain.[ii]

Ask your own body and the baby what they need. Pay attention to physical sensations and transient feelings in your body, particularly when there’s no obvious reason for those sensations. This is the channel your baby uses to let you know about physical needs and wants.

Pay attention as well to transient and subtle emotions. If you sense distress, offer the baby reassurance and be curious and open about why the baby feels that way.

Since these sensations and feelings, both physical and emotional, may be very subtle, it may be necessary to find a peaceful environment to have these communications. Or they may be forceful and clear. That’s the baby’s developing personality showing up!

I invite you to contact me if you would like to have assistance or coaching in communicating with your baby. Keep an eye on the events page at as well. There you will find training workshops on topics related to this book and others.


[i] An excellent bibliography is found at in the website of The Association For Prenatal And Perinatal Psychology And Health.

[ii] HeartMath LLC and HeartMath LLC, “Let Your Heart Talk To Your Brain,” HuffPost, December 07, 2017,

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